A Tale of Two Turkeys
by kjt1
Summary: An answer to an old Thanksgiving Challenge fic - JD related


Title:  A Tale of Two Turkeys

Rating:  PG

Disclaimer:  Not mine and never will be. ::sigh::

Spoilers:  Season 2, not any further, that I know of.

A/N:  Okay, this fic is actually in response to last year's November challenge on the JDFF Yahoo List.  The fic was supposed to be written as a joint effort with someone and that was the plan for this but, unfortunately, Jillian got extremely busy and couldn't write her part in time last year.  However, she did contribute ideas for it, so we agreed that I should finish it this year and post.  I know I'm a bit early for Thanksgiving this year, but still. :-)  For those of you who don't know, the challenge criteria were:

Each story must contain AT LEAST THREE of the following things:

-  A reference to the first night of Chanukah (which, last year, was Friday, November 29 – the day after Thanksgiving)

-  A reference to CJ singing with the kids on the Lawn of the White House

-  Anything Sam does that's clutzy - preferably if he's spilling something in the process

-  Any reference to Josh's Mother

-  Josh being made to eat pumpkin soup

-  The names of the turkeys the President has to choose from, to grant his Executive Pardon

Thanks:  To Sharon for the quick beta.

Feedback:  Always appreciated. :-)

***

"Guys, I have a problem," said CJ, entering Toby's office to speak to him and Sam.  

"Just the one, CJ?" Toby quipped. She glowered at him.  "Okay, what's your problem?"

"The two turkeys to choose from for the Presidential Thanksgiving Pardon have arrived," she replied.

"No, CJ, you cannot keep them in this office," Toby growled. 

"That's not what I was going to ask."

"What are their names this year?" Sam asked, trying to prevent another Toby/CJ argument about nothing.

"That's the problem," CJ replied, "they don't have any."

"Isn't that a good thing?" asked Toby.  "Usually you complain it's too personal and difficult to choose *because* they have names."

"Yes, but they have to have names for the press reports, so now I have to name them, which makes it even *more* personal."

"And you want our help how?" Toby asked, gesturing to himself and Sam, although he already knew the answer; he was just buying time so he could think of an excuse.

"Well, if someone else names them, it'll be easier," she replied, giving them both her best 'sweet' look.

"You want White House Senior Staff to take time out of their busy schedules to name some turkeys?" Toby asked, his face and tone deadpan.  CJ nodded.  "Okay, let's go Sam," he said, standing up and motioning for Sam to follow him out the door.

"Where are we going?" Sam questioned, already following Toby.

"We need to see the turkeys if we're going to name them properly, obviously," Toby replied.

"Are you mocking me now?" CJ asked, trying to sound hurt.

"Of course not," Toby replied in his usual gruff tone.  Sam dipped his head to hide his grin.

*

"Well, what do you think?" asked CJ as she, Sam and Toby stood in her office, staring at the turkeys.

"Are they two males again?" Sam wondered, looking at the turkeys intently.

"No, actually they're one of each," replied CJ.

"I could have told you that," Toby commented.  CJ and Sam gave him strange looks.  "It's obvious," he continued, "listen to them clucking away at each other like they're arguing."  Sam and CJ smiled and nodded their heads in agreement.  "Actually," Toby said, "do you know who they remind me of?"  CJ and Sam looked at him blankly.  "Josh and Donna!"  Even through his beard, Toby's devious grin was visible.  Sam and CJ looked from Toby to each other and burst out laughing.

"You know what?  I agree with you," CJ said, laughing heartily.  "We are *so* naming the turkeys Josh and Donna."

"Josh is gonna kill you when he finds out," Sam stated.  "He won't let you name them that."  

CJ grinned wickedly.  "Well, if the three of us keep quiet until after the press briefing, where I will announce the names," she said, looking at Sam pointedly, "it will be too late for him to stop me."  Sam and Toby laughed, evil grins appearing on their faces as well.

*

"CJ!" Josh yelled as soon as she got back to her office after the press briefing.  He was waiting inside her office, tapping his foot on the floor impatiently.

"Yes, Joshua?" she asked sweetly, stepping past him to sit in her desk chair.

"YOU CANNOT NAME THE TURKEYS JOSH AND DONNA!" he bellowed, causing a few people walking past the office to stop in their tracks for a second.  CJ raised her eyebrows at him and smirked.

"Oh?  I think I already have, Joshua.  Your little temper tantrum is not going to change things now."

Josh glared at her.  "CJ!  Toby's not gonna be pleased about this you know.  You can't have the turkeys named after Senior Staff members."

CJ was now grinning widely.  "Actually, Toby was the one who came up with the names."  

Josh's jaw dropped open at her statement.  "Wh…what?" he asked, struggling to speak due to shock.

"He said the turkeys remind him of you and Donna," she replied, shrugging her shoulders nonchalantly.

Josh looked at her and then at the turkeys.  "What's that supposed to mean?  Neither of those turkeys looks anything like me."

This time, CJ looked at the turkeys and then at Josh.  "Oh, I don't know, Josh, those spindly little legs," she quipped, trying to contain her laughter as Josh glared at her again.  "By the way, considering you didn't jump to her defense, does that mean you think one of the turkeys looks like *Donna*?"  Josh hadn't realized that Donna had come into CJ's office to find out what all the commotion was about, and had been standing behind him since before his last comment.

"Well, I really wouldn't want to comment on that CJ," he replied, grinning at her.  "I don't want to give the turkeys a bad name."  Donna immediately smacked him on the back of his head, making him suddenly aware of her presence.  He turned to look at her and gave her a sheepish grin.

"Ah, Donna, I was just explaining to Josh that it's too late to change the names of the turkeys, if that's what you're here to request," CJ said, smirking at them both.

"No, it's fine, CJ, I understand," Donna replied.  Josh whipped his head around to look at her, wondering what she was doing.  "I just thought I'd bring you a cup of coffee, you deserve one since you have to put up with the turkey in your office," she said, looking at Josh pointedly, "as well as the Josh and Donna turkeys."  She placed a steaming mug of coffee on the desk and CJ let out a chuckle as Donna's derogatory comment about Josh finally sunk into him.

"Donna!"  He glared at her.  Donna smirked at him and left the office.  He turned to CJ.  "We're not done here," he stated, before rushing to catch up with Donna.

Donna had walked quickly towards her desk, knowing Josh was following her.

"What was all that about?" Josh asked as soon as Donna had sat down at her desk.

She looked at him innocently.  "All what?"

"The coffee.  Why did you take CJ coffee?" he demanded, although his tone was more huffy than stern.

"You know why," she replied.  He glared at her, daring her to finish the statement.  "CJ gets to choose which turkey survives 'the chop' and, therefore, she holds the fate of the Donna turkey in her hands, metaphorically speaking.  I thought I would be extra nice to her, see if it helps."  She smirked at him as he narrowed his eyes at her.

"Well, you know, metaphorically speaking, I hold the fate of *your career* in my hands.  How come you never bring me coffee?"  Donna's only response was to stick her tongue out at him.  Josh rolled his eyes and went into his office; already thinking up ways to ensure the 'Josh turkey' won freedom.

*

CJ was kept amused for the rest of the day simply by the constant scowl on Josh's face every time he saw her.  Of course, CJ encouraged the scowl by waiting for Josh to be in the vicinity of her office and then saying "Aww, you're such a nice turkey, Donna…so much better than that male specimen over there."  A loud groan could be heard coming from Josh every time, signaling that CJ's work was done.

*

A burst of laughter was heard from CJ's office the following morning as she opened her mail; Donna had hand-delivered a memo to her from Josh, one that he had written and sealed up himself, marking it private and confidential.  When CJ opened it, she found that Donna had unwittingly delivered Josh's attempt at ensuring the 'Josh turkey' was granted the Executive Pardon; it was a list of reasons why the 'Josh turkey' should live.

She was sorely tempted to tell Donna straight away and then help her to plot revenge; however, she instead decided to allow Josh the chance to dig himself into an even deeper hole.

*

"Alright, does anyone have anything else?" Leo asked, trying to bring the Senior Staff meeting to a close; the meeting was being held in the Oval Office so that they could bring the President up to speed on a few issues.  It had been a light meeting so far and Leo had hoped for a quick finish.

"Yes, I do," CJ spoke up.  They all turned to look at her and noticed her devious grin.  "I decided to save paper and not copy this for you all, instead I'm just going to read it out," she stated.

"CJ, if it's important, we will need copies," Leo replied.

"Well, it *is* important, but not really," CJ said mysteriously.

"CJ," Toby interjected gruffly, "we don't have time for games.  What is it?

"Alright, keep your hair on Toby, or what's left of it; I'm sure you'll find this amusing…it concerns Josh," she said as all eyes turned to the Deputy Chief of Staff, who looked startled.  "This morning, Josh had Donna deliver a memo to me; although I'm sure she was quite unaware of the memo's contents and I'm sure that he just sent her with it as part of his warped sense of humor."

Josh began to shift his weight from one foot to other and looked down at the carpet, knowing CJ was going to lampoon him.

"Josh, what did you do *now*?" the President asked in an amused tone.

CJ continued before Josh could respond, "Well, as you all know, it was decided that this year's turkey competitors for the Executive Pardon should be called Josh and Donna."  She looked around the room and saw everyone nodding, although Josh was still hanging his head.  "Well, you are probably also aware that the *other* Josh and Donna have been competing on behalf of the turkeys."  Again, everyone nodded their agreement.  "This morning, I received a memo from Josh, well, not so much of a memo…more of a list…apparently a very serious list," CJ continued, grinning widely.

"CJ--" Josh interrupted but the President cut him off.

"Josh, be quiet, I want to hear about this list.  After all, it might decide which turkey I end up pardoning."  The President was grinning, as were the others in the room, all except Josh; it had been quite a while since Josh had got himself into non-political trouble and they were glad of the chance to mock him again.

"Okay, well, I'm just gonna read the list out loud," CJ said, looking to the President for agreement to her plan; he nodded in response.  "Reasons why the 'Josh turkey' should be granted an Executive Pardon," CJ quoted.

"The Josh turkey is more stealthy."

"The Josh turkey is less argumentative."

"The Josh turkey is easier to get along with."

"The Josh turkey is more assertive."

"The Josh turkey is less revolting."

"The Josh turkey is less deceitful."

"The Josh turkey is OBVIOUSLY more intelligent."

"And this last one," CJ continued, "well, let's just say that when you hear it, I think you'll know my feelings on it.  The Josh turkey is male and, therefore, the future of the species of turkeys depends on him for pro-creation."

Her male colleagues snickered as she read out the last reason and she reached out and hit Sam on the back of the head.

"Hey, what was that for?  I wasn't the only one laughing," he complained.

"No, but you were closest," CJ replied.

Everyone turned amused faces towards Josh, who looked suitably guilty.

"Well, it's a good list, Josh," the President commented, smiling at Josh, who started to smile back.  "However, you do realize that if I agree to pardon the Josh turkey because of this list, it means that the Donna turkey will die?  How will the *other* Donna feel about that, do you think?" he asked pointedly, with a mischievous gleam in his eyes.

Josh started fidgeting again and let out a long sigh, trying to form an answer. 

"Well, she'll just have to accept that…that's the way it goes, I'm higher in the pecking order!" he deadpanned.

Loud groans reverberated around the Oval Office in response to Josh's exceedingly bad pun.  Leo gave him an 'You're an Idiot' look, the President smiled and shook his head while CJ gave him a 'Donna's *so* gonna hear about this' look.

"Pecking order, Josh?" Sam quizzed in an amused tone.  Josh shrugged his shoulders sheepishly, knowing Donna would plot revenge as soon as she heard about his list.

*

"Donna, what are you doing?" Josh asked warily as Donna entered his office and placed a steaming coffee mug on his desk.  Donna smiled at him, but remained silent.  "Donna, if you think bringing me coffee is going to get me to cave in and tell CJ she can choose the 'Donna turkey', think again."

"Josh, I'm wounded; do you think I would do something like that?" Donna asked in an innocent tone.

"No, I don't think you would," Josh replied sincerely, prompting Donna to smile sweetly at him, "I *know* you would."

"Joshua," Donna said warningly.

Josh smirked at her and then finally looked at the contents of the mug in front of him.  "Hey!  What's this?" he asked suspiciously.

"Well, it's not coffee," Donna replied with a smirk.

"I can see that, Donnatella.  Care to tell me what it is?"

"Not really, no.  Why don't you drink it?" she suggested.

Josh lifted the mug to his face and peered inside it, using his nose to smell the liquid contained within.  He placed the mug back on his desk and looked up at her.

"Tell me this isn't what I think it is," he begged.

Donna smirked at him.  "Well, I can't really do that, Josh.  I'm not a mind reader; you need to tell me what you think it is before I can confirm or deny it."

"I thought you were 'tuned to me'?" Josh retorted through a smirk.  Donna let out a sigh and Josh continued, "Okay, well, it looks suspiciously like pumpkin soup."

"That Ivy League education has served you well, Josh; you are entirely correct in your assessment."

"Why did you bring me pumpkin soup, Donna?  You know I don't like it."

"I brought it on your mother's instructions," Donna responded, causing Josh to look a little surprised and shocked.

"My mother told you to bring me pumpkin soup?" he quizzed dubiously.

"Yes, she said that since you can't go to Florida for Thanksgiving this year, she doesn't want you to miss out on the best part of the meal.  Therefore, she asked me to bring you some soup, which you can enjoy a day early."

"She sent you soup to bring to me?" he inquired, totally confused.

"Don't be an idiot, Josh," Donna replied, shaking her head in exasperation.  "She sent me the recipe and asked me to make some for you."

"You actually *made* this?" he asked, pointing a finger at the mug on his desk.

"Yes, now hurry up and eat it…drink it…whatever, before it gets cold," she instructed.

Josh raised an eyebrow at her.  "Donna, I am *not* eating pumpkin soup.  For one thing, you know I don't like it.  Secondly, since when do I take orders from you?  And thirdly, how do I know you haven't poisoned it in an attempt to get rid of me so you can take over my job?" he asked, smirking at her, with his dimples out in full force.

"Okay, I'll answer each of those in turn, Josh," Donna replied.  "Firstly, I don't care if you don't like it, tell your mom that…she's the one who asked me to make it for you.  Secondly, you owe me *big time* after the little stunt you pulled with the 'reasons the Josh turkey should live' list.  And finally, if I wanted to poison you, Josh, I would just add cyanide or arsenic to the highly greasy foods that you normally eat; I certainly wouldn't go to the bother of slaving over a hot stove for hours making homemade soup.  And as for taking over your job, I think all I'd need to do for that would be to suggest it to the President and he'd be more than happy to oblige," she finished on a chuckle.

Josh looked a little chastened, more due to his guilt over the 'list' than anything else, but he was still determined not to give in and eat the soup.

"I don't tell my mom I don't like pumpkin soup because that would be impolite…she likes it and it wouldn't be fair to deprive her of eating it just because I don't want any," he stated quietly.

"She knows, Josh," Donna said through a wicked grin.

Josh looked up at her.  "What do you mean?" he asked cautiously.

"She knows you don't like it…she says she can tell by the face you make every time she serves it to you.  She just serves it every year to show the control she still has over you," Donna replied laughingly, her laugh growing louder at the glower appearing on Josh's face.

"So, *she* knows I don't like it, and *you* know I don't like it, yet you still expect me to eat this?" he asked pointedly, waving at the mug again.

"Yes."

"And you seriously think I'm going to do that?" he asked, amusement evident in his tone and a smirk on his face.

"Yes."

"Why?"

"Because otherwise, I will find another punishment for your little 'list' stunt," Donna responded with a mischievous lilt in her voice.  Josh looked amused but fearful as he pulled the mug closer to him, still not lifting it from the desk again.

"You know, this is a really bad decision on your part, Donnatella," Josh commented; Donna quirked an eyebrow at him.  "If you force me to drink this *stuff*, that I don't like, I will find a way to get you back…you can count on that."  
  
"Oh, Josh," an exasperated Donna said, "just drink the damn stuff, you might find you actually like it."  It was Josh's turn to raise an eyebrow and Donna explained, "I added to the recipe a little."

"Okay, you tell me that you didn't stick strictly to my mom's recipe and you think that'll actually *convince* me to try it?" Josh retorted, examining the soup more closely.

"Josh, you have two choices," Donna said, her tone stern.  "You either eat it or wear it!"  Josh laughed, but eventually brought the mug to his lips and took a sip of the liquid.  He waited a moment and then made a big show of swallowing, putting a disgusted look onto his face.  Donna glared huffily at him and he finally grinned at her, before taking another, much larger, gulp of soup.

"This is good," he said with surprise as he placed the now half-empty mug back on his desk.

"You doubted me?" Donna asked, trying to sound hurt.

"Umm…yeah," Josh admitted hesitantly.  "I mean…it's pumpkin soup."  He glanced back at the mug before looking at her intently.  "What did you add?  Mom's *never* tastes like this."

"I spiced it up a little…I know you prefer things spicy," she confessed.

Josh couldn't resist waggling his eyebrows as he replied, "Really?"  Donna just rolled her eyes.  "Wait…you said this was my punishment for the thing with the list, yet you changed the recipe to something you knew I'd like?" Josh asked, more than a little confused and surprised.

"I made the soup before I knew about the list, Josh," Donna responded.

"Sooooo…does this mean you're still gonna get me back for the list?" he asked nervously.

"Oh, you betcha!"  Donna grinned at him and left the office.

A few minutes later, Josh appeared in the doorway of Donna's cubicle.

"Yes, Josh?" she asked lightly, looking up to find him staring at her.

"Uh…I uh, do you have any more soup?" he asked quietly.

Donna smirked at him.  "Yes, I do," she responded and Josh smiled happily.  "But you're not getting any," she continued, laughing as the smile was wiped from Josh's face.

"Why not?" he whined.

"Consider it punishment…the first part of your punishment."

Josh narrowed his eyes at her mock-angrily and then walked back to his office, exaggerating the door-slamming as he heard Donna laughing.

*

"CJ, you're looking especially lovely this afternoon," Josh stated as he entered CJ's office and took a seat on her couch.  "Did you do something with your hair?"

CJ looked up at him warningly.  "Joshua, you can stop with the niceties, right now."

"What?" Josh asked innocently, trying to look wounded.

"I'm not making the decision on the turkeys, Josh," CJ stated.

"You're not?"  He sounded disbelieving; he was wondering if Donna had already gotten to CJ and persuaded her to 'save' the Donna turkey.

"No, Josh, I'm not."

"So, who is?" he asked warily.

"The President," CJ replied, not even attempting to hide her smirk.

"WHAT?" Josh yelled, more bewildered than annoyed.  "The…the President can't decide that, CJ," he added more quietly.

"Oh, I think he can, Josh.  After all, he *is* the one who grants the Executive pardon… shouldn't he get to choose?"

"No," Josh retorted.

"Why not?" CJ asked, amused at Josh's reaction.

"Because…because I won't be able to sweet-talk him into saving the Josh turkey," he admitted.

CJ laughed out loud as she replied, "You mean you were attempting to *sweet-talk me* earlier?"

"Um…kind of," he admitted reluctantly.

"Well, I'm sure you could *try* sweet-talking the President, Josh.  You never know, it might work; stranger things have happened," CJ said through her continuous laughter.  "Although, I'm pretty sure Donna might fair better in her attempts than you."

"CJ!"

"Oh, relax, Josh.  The President isn't making the decision as such," she replied.  At Josh's bemused expression she explained, "He's going to pick the name of the turkey to be saved out of a hat."

"And who's putting the names *in* the hat in the first place?" Josh asked suspiciously.

"Um, that would be Donna," CJ admitted, dipping her head to hide her grin.

"CJ!" Josh exclaimed again, narrowing his eyes at her.

"Josh!" CJ replied.  "You are *so* easy to wind up today."  She grinned openly at him this time.  "Charlie's putting the names in and monitoring the draw…for some reason he actually *likes* you and said he'd make sure it was fair."

Josh pondered this for a moment and then nodded his head in agreement, before standing up and leaving CJ's office.

*

"Alright, let's get this show on the road," the President said to the assembled crowd awaiting him in the Roosevelt Room.  Charlie handed him the hat and the President peered into it.  "Charlie, I thought there were only two turkeys; why are there lots of pieces of paper in here?"

"I thought it would add to the effect if there was rustling before you picked one out, Sir," Charlie grinned.

"Ah, good idea," the President said.

"Can we get on with this already?" Josh muttered impatiently.

"What was that, Josh?" the President asked with raised eyebrows.

"Uh, nothing, Sir."

"Alright, well, CJ, are we ready?"

"Yes, Sir," she nodded, looking around and confirming that the invited members of the press corps.

"Good."  The President dipped his hand into the hat and mixed the papers around, taking his time and smiling when he heard Josh groan.  "Well, I have a name," he finally said after removing a piece of paper, unfolding it and reading.

"And?" Josh prompted.

"CJ, what is the rule here?"

"Sir?"

"The name I pick out, is that the turkey that is pardoned, or the one that loses?"

Josh groaned again.

"It's the one that's pardoned, Sir," CJ informed him, suppressing a chuckle at Josh's attempts to tell her not to answer while he tried to find the right angle to read the name off the paper the President was holding.

"No, it's not," Josh said adamantly.  "The turkey named on the paper is the one that's for the chop."  He had moved off to the side and was practically leaning over the President's shoulder, much to the amusement of everyone in the room, including the reporters who were looking for amusing stories to fill the quiet newspaper pages.

"Donna, what do you say?" the President asked, turning to look at her.

"I say that Josh has always had a hard time understanding rules, Sir," she smiled.

"What if he's trying to double bluff you?  You can't see the name written on this piece of paper," the President pressed.

"We all know that Josh has a lousy poker face, Sir," Sam chipped in.  Josh glared at him.

"Donna?" the President said.

"What Sam said, Sir," she grinned, watching Josh's eyes narrowing.

"I'm sorry, Donna," the President said sincerely.  "The turkey to be pardoned is the one called Josh."

"What?" everyone queried in shock as Josh stood with a smug grin adorning his features.

"He bluffed you, Donna," the President confirmed.

"I can't believe it," she said as the color drained from her face.  "My turkey is going to… Josh?"  She looked at him pleadingly, but he just shrugged his shoulders.

"You knew the rules, Donna," he grinned, though there was a mildly apologetic tone in his voice.

"I know," she admitted sadly.

"CJ, how long until the ceremony?" the President asked.

"About an hour."

"Okay.  Well, I have work to do, as I'm sure the rest of you do.  Donna, go ahead and take some time to say goodbye before she has to go."

"To say goodbye, Sir?" Josh queried.

"To the turkey, Josh," CJ said.

"But, why –"

"Josh," CJ interrupted with an exasperated sigh.  "Donna, both the turkeys will be in my office until the ceremony."

"Thanks, CJ."

"No swapping them around, Donna," Josh warned as they all left the room.

*

"You're sure you'll manage to get this finished?" Leo asked Josh as they left the Roosevelt Room.

"Yeah, we'll be fine," Josh grinned.  "You go eat Thanksgiving Dinner with the President and First Lady."

Leo gave a look that showed he really didn't want to go, but he then appeared to suck it up and, with a quick nod, left the room.

"How long until we can eat?" Sam asked.

"The President said it would be in the Mess when we want it; we're getting what they're having," Donna informed them all.  Josh, CJ, Toby and Sam all nodded and looked back at the mountain of paperwork spread out on the table.

"You know, this would be easier if we brainstormed," Josh said.  "We need to split into groups and come up with ideas."

"Josh, it's a speech for a trip to Minnesota, what is there to brainstorm?" CJ asked.

"Well, we haven't come up with anything to talk about so far, have we?" he said with annoyance.  "Toby, why didn't you and Sam tell us that you were having trouble, you know, more than two days before the trip?  If you had, we wouldn't all be having to work on Thanksgiving."

"We had it nailed, Josh," Sam defended before Toby had a chance to yell.  "But, then the President decided he wanted to inject some more humor into it."  
  


"Right, and you guys aren't funny enough to do that on your own, I forgot," Josh said with a smirk, though his annoyance was still evident.

"Josh, stop it," Donna warned.  "Arguing isn't going to help the situation."

"Alright," he conceded.  "Still, I think groups would be better, we're getting nowhere like this."  
  
"Okay, who's with who?" CJ asked.

"You, Toby and Sam and then me and Donna."

"I don't want to work with Toby," Sam objected.

All eyes moved to Toby, watching for his reaction and they were surprised to find he didn't seem to care.

"Why not, Sam?" CJ asked.

"He doesn't think I have a witty sense of humor," he complained amidst chuckles from CJ, Josh and Donna.

"You don't, Sam," Toby interjected, prompting more laughter.

"Alright, Sam, you and CJ can work together and Toby can be on his own," Josh compromised.

"On his own?  You can't brainstorm with yourself, Josh," CJ pointed out.

"You'd be surprised at the things I can do with myself, CJ," Josh grinned.

"You know what I mean, Joshua," CJ said sternly, though there was laughter in her eyes.

"Toby doesn't appreciate my sense of humor either," Josh admitted.

"I'll work with Toby," Donna offered.  "You can work with Sam and CJ."

"But, I…" Josh stammered, unable to think of a reason why that wouldn't work.  He finally settled for, "Haven't you suffered enough already today, Donna, what with losing the turkey and all?"

"I'm sure I'll survive," she smiled.  "If that's okay with you, Toby?"

"Whatever, just let's get on with it already."

*

"I can't be funny on an empty stomach," Sam complained for about the tenth time.  He, CJ and Josh were still sitting around the table in the Roosevelt Room, with Toby and Donna now ensconced in Toby's office.  They had split up the speech into two halves, with Donna and Toby working on injecting more humor into the first half.

"I don't think an empty stomach is what causes your lack of funny, Sam," Josh grinned.

"Look, can't we just go and eat?" he whined.

"No, I want to finish this first."  
  
"But, Josh –"

"Why don't we bring the food back here?" CJ suggested, trying to prevent an argument.

"That's a good idea," Sam beamed.

"Fine, but I'm staying here," Josh acquiesced.

"No problem, I'll go," Sam offered.

"I'll come with you, Sam, make sure you don't spill anything."  
  
"CJ, I won't spill –"  He stopped suddenly, catching CJ's pointed look.

"Just get out of here, would you?" Josh growled.

"What do you want to eat, Josh?" Sam asked.

"A bit of everything, but the meat has to be properly cooked."

"Josh, it's turkey, it's always properly cooked, to prevent disease," CJ said, as if talking to a child.

"Alright, well, turkey with all the trimmings," he instructed.  "But, no pumpkin soup," he added.

"Uh, Josh, pumpkin soup isn't one of the trimmings you get with turkey," Sam pointed out with a grin.

"Sam."

"What?  I was just –"

"Let's go, Sam," CJ said, dragging him by the arm.  "We should check if Donna and Toby want anything."

*

"What took you so long?" Toby asked as Sam returned from the Mess with the food order.

"We had a bit of an incident," Sam replied.

"What kind of incident?" Donna inquired.  "Where's CJ?" she added, noting the absence of her friend.

"She, uh… she went to her office to change."  
  
"To change?  Why?" Donna asked.

"The incident, it… it was soup related."

"Soup related?"

"Sam, spill it," Toby said with mild exasperation.

"That's just it, Toby, I did, spill it that is."  
  
"Over CJ?" Donna guessed.

"Yeah," he admitted sheepishly.

"You're a lucky man, Sam," Toby said.

"I am?" Sam queried in confusion.

"Yes.  If it wasn't for the fact that CJ ruined her voice by singing so loudly at the pardoning ceremony earlier to keep the President pleased, she'd be yelling at you right now."

"She promised me she'll make up for it with physical violence," Sam told him, wincing at his own words.

"I'm thinking Josh might do the same if you take him cold food, Sam," Donna smiled, looking at the remaining food on the tray he was carrying. 

"Good point, I'd better go.  Uh, can you ask CJ to work with you now?" Sam pleaded.

"No.  Go away, Sam," Toby said, though Donna could see the smile behind his beard as Sam sullenly left the office.

*

"I have never been so glad to see the back of this place," Donna sighed as she and Josh walked to their cars.

"I know how you feel," he agreed.  "I can't believe Toby and Sam have now decided to re-write other parts of the speech instead of just inserting the funny stuff."

"I know," she laughed.  "There must have been something in their food to make them crazy."  
  


"Well, we ate the same stuff so, should I be worried?"  
  
"It's alright, Josh, we wouldn't notice the difference with you anyway."  
  
"Hey!" he complained, causing Donna to laugh.  "You know, I was gonna invite you over for dinner tomorrow night, to make up for the ruined Thanksgiving but, if you're gonna insult me, I don't think I'll bother."

"You were going to ask me to dinner?" she queried with shock.

"Yeah," he shrugged.  "Like I said, Thanksgiving was ruined, so I thought it might be nice."

"You're gonna cook?"

"Yes," he said with a look that said 'are you questioning me?'

"Is that why you grabbed such a huge bag of leftovers from the Mess?" she grinned.

"Yeah, okay," he admitted with a smile.  "But, it's the thought that counts, right?"

"So, are you still gonna invite me, even after I insulted you?" she smiled.

"Well, I shouldn't," he said pointedly, "but I will."

"Thank you.  What time?"

"When we finish work, it shouldn't take long to reheat everything."

"Oh, okay."

"What's wrong?" he asked, puzzled by the disappointment he could hear in her tone.

"Nothing," she assured with a falsely light tone.  At his look, she added, "I just don't fancy celebrating Thanksgiving in my work clothes yet again, that's all."

"Well, bring a change of clothes with you, we can change when we get to my place."  
  
"Okay," she agreed brightly.

"Hey, you can bring something else with you too," he said just as they reached her car.

"What?" she asked warily.

"Some of your pumpkin soup."

"Really?"  
  
"Yeah, just don't tell my mom," he said in a conspiratorial tone.

"Why don't I just give your mom my recipe?" she suggested.

"And ruin the traditional Thanksgiving we have?  Never," he grinned.

"You're incorrigible," she stated with an eye roll, opening her car door and getting inside.  "I'll see you tomorrow, Josh."  
  
"Yeah, night, Donna."

*

"Do you mind if I grab the first shower?" Josh asked as they entered his apartment.  "That way, I can get dinner ready while you get changed."  
  
"That's fine," Donna smiled.  "Is there anything you want me to do?"

  
"No, it'll be fine.  Just sit back and watch TV or something.  I'll just put the soup in the kitchen and go shower."

"Okay," she nodded, removing her coat and taking a seat on the couch.

Twenty minutes later, Josh emerged from his room freshly showered and wearing jeans and a shirt.

"Bathroom's all yours," he told her.

"Thanks."

Having showered and dressed, Donna sat down to dry her hair, plugging the hairdryer into the socket beside the dresser in his bedroom.  As she was looking in the mirror and brushing her hair, she caught sight of a piece of paper on top of the dresser and, unable to resist, she looked at it more closely.  What she read caused her to stop midway through brushing some strands of hair and she sat back in utter shock.  Shaking herself back into action, she resumed drying and brushing her hair, while trying to figure out if she should ask Josh about what she'd read.

*

"Nice timing, dinner's nearly ready," Josh smiled as Donna walked into the kitchen to find him stirring the soup.  "Go sit and I'll serve up."

"Okay."

"Alright, let's hope I haven't ruined this through just heating it up," he grinned as he placed the two bowls of steaming soup on the table.

"I'm sure it'll be fine," she smiled.  After taking a spoonful, she said, "So, I saw a receipt on your dresser when I was drying my hair."

"A receipt?"

"Yeah, for the sale of a turkey."  
  
"Oh, right, I uh…"

"Josh?"

"I bought the Donna turkey, alright?" he finally caved.

"You did?" she beamed.

"Yeah.  I bought her and donated her to the same sanctuary as the Josh turkey is going."

"Josh," she gushed, bringing a hand over her heart.

"I gotta tell you, turkey's are damned expensive.  Between buying the thing and then the donation I had to make to the sanctuary for it's upkeep, it cost me a fortune."

"You made a donation as well?"

"Yeah, they said it would help."

"Were you ever going to tell me about this?  I mean, if I hadn't found the receipt?"

"I hadn't planned to," he admitted.

"Why not?"

"I didn't want to be revealed as soft."

"You're incredibly sweet when you want to be, you know that?"

"I have been told that on occasions," he smiled.

"Why did you save it in the end?  After all the campaigning you did for the Josh turkey to win?"

"I…  I didn't want to think about something bearing your name coming to a nasty end like that," he confessed seriously.

"Thank you, Josh, for saving me."  Her tone had started serious, but developed into a chuckle at the end as Josh laughed.

"The soup's getting cold, eat up," he instructed.

*

"That was a really nice dinner, Josh, thank you."

"You're welcome, but I didn't do anything, just heated leftovers."

"I know, but thank you anyway, for taking the time out to do this."

"Like I said, it was nothing," he shrugged, rising from the couch they'd slumped down onto after dinner, and crossing to the window to look outside.  "You know, tonight's the first night," he said quietly and out-of-the-blue.

"The first night?" she queried after a moment, thinking he'd stopped mid-sentence.

"Chanukah."

"Oh, of course, I'm sorry, I did know that, I just didn't connect it there, you know?"

"It's okay, I know," he smiled.

Donna rose from the couch and walked towards him.  Stopping just behind, she grabbed his left hand and turned him in the direction of his bookcase.

Looking at his Menorah, she asked, "Should I take it down, or do you want to?"

"Go ahead, you're more than welcome," he smiled.

She removed the Menorah from the bookcase and placed it on the windowsill.  Josh grabbed the lighter and lit the first candle.  They stepped back a little and watched the glow, remaining silent.

"I don't remember any of the stuff you're supposed to say when you light it," Josh admitted quietly.

"Don't worry, Josh," she said as she placed a comforting hand on his arm.  "Would you mind if I said something?" she asked, nodding towards the Menorah.

Looking at her curiously, but with a warm smile, Josh answered, "Sure."

"Okay, I know it's not in Hebrew, and it's not anything special, but I'm very glad to be where I am at this very moment. To be able to spend such a special day with you is very important to me, Josh; I'm so glad you're a part of my life."

"The feeling is entirely mutual, Donna," Josh whispered, turning to place a kiss on her cheek.  "Thank you for being with me tonight, it's made it very special."

"Have you called your mom?"

"Yeah, she said to say hi."

"You told her I was coming over?"

"Yeah.  She said that next year I've to make more of an effort to go visit her."

"Sounds like a good idea," she smiled, though there was a reticent look in her eyes.

"She told me to bring you with me," he said quietly.

"She… She did?"

"Yeah and, you know what, I can't think of anything more special than spending the first night of Chanukah with the two most-important people in my life."

"Josh," Donna blushed, heartening him with the look of desire that suddenly flashed in her eyes.

"The two most-important people in my life," he continued, "and the two people I love most."  Donna turned away, trying to hide her reaction to his words, but he saw her reflection in the window and used a hand to turn her to face him.  "Thank you, Donna," he said seriously, clasping his hands behind his back and leaning forward slightly, watching her face all the time.  Slowly, his lips met hers and he gently kissed her.  As she reacted, he brought his hands out and wrapped them around her waist, pulling her closer.

When they broke apart, Donna breathed, "Tonight's not just the first night of Chanukah then."

"No, it's the first night of the rest of our lives," he smiled.  "So, let's get started."

He puller her into his arms again and kissed her passionately, their outline illuminated by the glow in the window.

***

The End


End file.
